I Am Sorry if Your Feelings Were Hurt is NOT an Apology

The latest trend in acknowledging one's mistake is not asking for forgiveness for what you might have done or said, but the very obnoxious and inappropriate: " I am sincerely sorry if your feelings were hurt; that wasn't my intent"  

TRANSLATION:  You're much too sensitive and obviously took what I said the wrong way; it is really your issue and not mine.

Such an apology isn't really an apology - it is a means to move forward without acknowledging personal failings or promising future improvement.  It is more like your child professing sorrow under duress rather than learning from the experience and being sorry for the action or deed rather than being sorry for being caught!

This latest trend is occurring more often due to the immediacy of Twitter and other Social Media Outlets.  We don't have time to vet our vents but rather insult and then blame Twitter for our stupidity or lack of judgment.  God forbid that the blame might be that we were out-of-line rather than the tool that proves we are!

There has been a flurry of inappropriate and poorly-timed comments recently regarding political and social issues (especially on the topics of race and religion) which in the past would have never seen the light of day even if one believed such rubbish.  I guess this current presidential campaign has made it acceptable to say whatever you feel without taking into consideration other's beliefs and feelings! 

The excuse is you are just too PC if you take umbrage.  Maybe it isn't Political Correctness, maybe it is just practicing what you preach, be it religion or common sense and a little touch of class.

If you are the kind of person that believes it is your right to say what you mean and mean what you say, then you should also be ready to accommodate others and truly apologize when you go too far.  Apologize like you mean it and that you will attempt to become a better person because of it, not because you got caught or "someone's feelings were hurt."

Daniel C. Borschke, FASAE, CAE is an Association Executive with 38 years experience with 4 distinctly different trade associations and author of the current book:  If you are Going Through Hell - Don't Stop Keep Going: A Guide to Transition and Search available at: http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Going-Through-Hell/dp/147874703X